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Update: Dickinson Community Shocked to see DPS Take Step In The Right Direction

Earlier this week students were justifiably thrown off by the absence of esteemed Legend Rob the Crossing Guard while attempting to cross North College Street. However, an inside source at the "Dickinsonian" recently reported that Rob has been promoted to a position as DPS officer. I want to firstly congratulate Rob for a well deserved promotion for a guy who pours everything he has into making this school a better place. After years of unnecessary interference, unprovoked investigations, and various forms of profiling, it appears the DPS force is finally moving in the right direction. In fact, if they want to completely flip the script and earn back the trust of the Dickinson community I would advise they let Rob handle all decisions from here on out. Already the best part of everyone's day, Rob will now enter into our nightlife as well, and the DPS department immediately becomes a more welcoming and effective force. Some students are shocked by this recent progress from DPS after years of seemingly constant regression spurred by their ANTIFUN roots. So now we are forced to ask, what might be next for the Dickinson Public Safety force? While it is hard to predict, the recent promotion of Rob shows the department is undergoing a major culture change and that’s dope for everyone.

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