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  • Soap MacTavish

Local Woman Justifies Drinking



BRITTON PLAZA - On Monday afternoon at approximately 4:33 pm, local informant Costas Tsitisaragos reported hearing overhearing a solemn conversation between seniors Ellie Kairis and Alexandra Mier y Teran. Kairis reportedly was insistent in claiming that her recent efficiency warranted her a Wine night with the girls. After a taxing Saturday spent between Beach House and a visit to Alibis Eatery and Spirits, Ellie was able to quickly and get on her “grind”. The 22 year old Carlisle native strengthened her case even further when she recounted exactly what she had accomplished over the last 36 hours to justify the Monday night festivities. Kairis was confirmed to have completed two loads of laundry, submitted a job application, and uploaded a blog post to moodle all while battling through a crippling head cold, dizziness and fatigue. While a Monday night powerplay isn’t always in the cards, it’s safe to say Kairis earned it.

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