Want real journalism experience?

Apply to be a writer!

Hottest image of the week!

Search
  • Thelma Watkins

Incumbent Brew-Thru Bows Down to Rival Stans

BREW THRU - As many Dickinsonians have heard, the Carlisle Brew-Thru is set to close it’s garage door for the final time later this month. But how could this well located and easy to use service go out of business? Picking up a cold rack of Ice House and a bag of Twea couldn’t be any easier, your lazy ass doesn’t have to get out of the car. We here at Testing Newsday discovered that Brew Thru simply failed to keep with the times. Through our extensive economic analysis of the Carlisle beer industry, we discovered that Stans is straight up better. Located by Giant and Dunkin, you’ll never hear a Stans employee ask for your ID. This is a safe haven for underage booze bags. Not to mention that in one swoop, thirsty students can snag their 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice and a handle of smooth Kamchatka from the neighboring liquor store. So, sorry Brew-Thru, you’re fucked.


0 views