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Cute Girl Gone From Package Pickup

MAIL ROOM - A Carlisle loner was distraught to notice that the Cute Girl was gone from Package Pickup as he went to get his weekly edible arrangement from his mom. With no knowledge of her name, the loner was forced to confront the reality that he may never see her again. After a reportedly grim caf sit, he reported that none of his friends seemed to really care. The Cute Girl from Package Pickup declined to comment, but sources in the mail room confirmed there had been a “change of personnel recently”. With the recent market corrections and increasing turmoil surrounding the US/China trade wars, there are growing fears that there could be layoffs for attractive students campus wide.

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