Breaking: John Falvey Upset About Leaves
Updated: Oct 31, 2018
CARLISLE - "I mean honestly its ridiculous". In an awe-inspiring press conference, estranged Kappa Sigma John Falvey discussed his concern for the amount of leaves around. "We need to operate with the utmost care and responsibility", cautioned Falvey angrily before closing with, "It is a slippery slope from here". Those close to Falvey were unavailable for comment.