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BREAKING: Freshman Has 45 Minute Break Between Class

DRAYER HALL - Area freshman Tug Joberson was reported to have had a 45 minute break between classes midday on Wednesday. Reports by correspondents on the scene suggest that Joberson returned to Drayer Hall and told his friends he couldn’t go Caf with them because he was “finna crush a nap”. Sources close to the situation have reported that Joberson’s roommate, Pete Kalowsky, was at Lib with his friend and therefore not in the dorm. At press time, Joberson’s door was locked and closed. While we may never know exactly what he chooses to do with this unprecedented time-off, Testing Newsdays believes its safe to take him at his word that he is in fact crushing a nap. However, his profuse complaining about the speed of the WiFi at dinner later that day calls into question exactly what agitated this grievance. Perhaps he was on Netflix prior to falling asleep. Stay tuned for more info.

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